IBIRANGA UMUGABO MWIZA

IBIRANGA UMUGABO MWIZA

Nkuko ari yo mpamvu yatumye nshyiraho iyi blog inamanziza.blogspot.com ngo njye ntanga inama nzinza no muri ubu buryo, nishimiye kurushyiraho ibintu biranga umugabo mwiza, nkuko nabishakashatse nkanabisohorta mu gitabo cya kabiri URUKUNDO RUKOMEZA INDAHIRO.

Umugabo mwiza si uwivuga imyato                         Umugobo si intwari  yo mu kabari

Umugobo mwiza si ukunywa izayose

Umugabo si uvuga bagahunga                                   Ni ukunda urukundo rukomeza indahiro

Umugabo ni ukunda akomeza indahiro

Murugo avuga neza ntatonoma atongana

Umugore yashatse ashimishwa n’uko atashye

Guhunga ngo araje ntibiba iwabo habe namba

Ataha aramukanya afite akanyamuneza neza

Bose bakaza bakamusuhuza, bakamuyambira.

Ongera nawe wibaze neza nimba ariko uteye

Mugabo nkunda ntega yombi nongere nkubwire

Wemere nanone nawe ubu nkungurubwenge

Inama zigukwiye nongere nzishyire muri make

Zimwe wita inshuti zikuryarya zikurya imitsi iteka

Amahoro akabura zireke ukunde urukomeza indahiro.

Mu mibereho y’abagabo ntabwo bakunda kwireba mu ndorerwamo, nyamara ndinginga Imana ngo iyo bazayireberemo kandi izabereke rwose uko basa binatume bafata ingambe zo kwikosora no kwirinda kongera kwandura. Muri iki gice ndashaka kwerekana umugabo mwiza uko agaragarira abantu ariko cyane uko umugore bashakanye amushaka ngo bakomeze kubana bubahiriza kandi bakomeza indahiro barahiriranye. Ndaza  kandi kwerekana ibintu biranga umugabo mubi, kugirango amenye uko agaragarira abantu ariko cyane cyane uko agaragarira abo mu muryango we, bikaba binatera ko nta mahoro afitanye n’abo mu rugo nyamara cyane umugore we. Ibi bituma umugore ahorana amarira agahora asuhuza umutima, akaba yarabuze icyo akora n’icyo areka. Yabuze epfo na ruguru. Ibi byose mbyandikiye kugirango umugabo wese uko ari kose n’icyo akara icyo aricyo cyose, agire umwanya wo kwikosora no kwisubiraho, abere abana umupapa bifuza, kandi abere umugore we umutware arata ubutwari, atari uwo yumva akihindira mu nguni z’icyuma cyangwa mu nsi y’urutara.

Umugabo mwiza si ukuvuga ufite isura imeze gutya cyangwa gutya, igikara cyangwa se inzobe, umugufi cyangwa umuremure, unanutse cyangwa ubyibushye cyane, ahubwo ni ibimuranga ku miterereye n’imigirire ye. Abagabo benshi bagaragara hirya y’ingo zabo nk’abantu beza cyane bambara bakaberwa, nyamara bagera mungo buri wese mu barugize agasenga asaba ngo iyaba Imana yari ibababariye buri wese akinjira mu cyumba cye. Ibyo ariko ntibireba umugore kuko we aba yumva bagumya bakibera muri salo, kuko aba azi ko ibyo agiye guhurira nabyo mu cyumba ari inzira y’umusaraba.

Kuba umugabo rero, si kuba munini (mvuze ntyo nanga kuvuga uko najyaga numva bavuga ngo ubugabo si ubutumbi, kuko numva bisa no gushira isoni, cyangwa gutukana) cyangwa ubutunzi, dore ko bamwe banabufite, bagira amazu ariko abagore n’abana babo bakarara bingunze mu magaraje, cyangwa biruka ibigunda abandi bakigira mu baturanyi.  Hari abagabo bagira amamodoka, abana n’abagore babo bakaba batazicaramo na rimwe ahubwo bakagenza amaguru.

Ikindi kandi umugabo si kubarwa mu ntiti ariko ngo nagera murugo atitize abarubamo, babuze aho barigitira.  Bimwe muri ibyo mvuze haruguru usanga byarabaye impamvu zituma bamwe bahinduka imbata z’ibiyobyabwenge, ni ukuvuga abanywi b’inzoga nyinshi, amatabi, n’ibindi

Ibiranga umugabo mwiza, nabishyize mu byiciro bikurikira ngeragaza gusobanura mu magabo make:

1. Umugabo mwiza ni ubaha Imana                       Zaburi 111.10

Nkuko Bibiliya ibivuga burya kubaha Uwiteka ni byo shingiro ry’ubwenge (Yobu 28.28, Imigani 1.7 ; 3.7 ; 14.16 ; 16 ;16.6 Umubwiriza 12.13) muri ubwo bwenge kandi harimo n’ubwo kubaka urugo, no kumenya gukorera ibyiza byose uwo baba barashakanye, abana n’abandi baba mu rugo. Umugabo ushaka ko anezeza abo murugo kandi bikamubera byiza nawe akabona icyubahiro ashaka, akwiye kubaha Imana.

Abagabo benshi barajijwa, bagashakira icyubahiro mu gutaha bahinda nk’inkuba yo mu gicu, cyangwa bakanga abo mu rugo nk’intare ivumbuye umuhigo, bitihi se bagashyiraho n’ibindi bitandukanye, nko kutuzuza inshingano basabwa nk’abagabo. Nyamara sibyo kuko umuntu ushaka ko bamwubaha akwiye kubaha Imana ubundi ikamwubahisha, nkuko byanditswe ko uzayubaha izamwubahisha ariko uzajya ayisuzugura azasuzugurwa; 1 Sam 2.30. Abagabo benshi bakorera amafaranga menshi bakaba no mu myanya ikomeye cyane, ariko bakabaho nta cyubahiro bafite ari ukubera ko batubaha Uwitaka. Bamwe muri abo kandi bafite ingo zibabaje, zirimo amakimbirane kubera kutubaha Imana.

Mu gabo usoma iki gitabo, ndagusengera ngo ube uwubaha Imana kandi ndaguhugura rwose nk’umugabo mugenzi wawe, ngo wubahe Uwiteka, ujye umugisha inama buri gihe mu birebana n’urugo rwawe, kandi ndakubwiza ukuri ko niwubaha Imana nayo izakubahisha. Urugo rwawe ruzaba urwo kwishimiramo, rurimo amahoro.

Kandi ndagusaba ngo ujye uzirikana iteka ibyo warahiriye nyina w’abana bawe ko uzamukunda, umukuyakuya, ko utazamurutisha abandi bagore, n’ibindi. Gusohoza ibyo ariko ntabwo wabishobora utabanje gushaka uburyo bwose bwo kubaha Imana.

Niba rero uri mu bubaha Imana wirinde kurangara kuko Satani azerera nk’intare yivuga ashaka abo anconshomera 1Petero 5.8,  nyamara kuba maso no kwirinda usenga wingingira urugo rwawe, bizatuma urugo rukomeza kubamo amahoro, Itorero ry’ibanze Imana yerekaniramo kugira neza kwayo.

Nibyiza kandi gutoza abana bose kubaha Imana kugirango bazagire ingo nziza. Wibuke ko ibyo ukorera mama w’abana ari ibyo umuhungu wawe azakorera umugore we. 

2. Umugabo mwiza, akundwakaza umugore we akamwishimira akamwubahisha                  Imigani 5.18

Mu ndahiro nifuza ko abantu bayikomeza kugeza iteka ryose, umusore azamura ikiganza akarahirira kujyana n’inkumi cyangwa umugore agiye gushaka akavuga ko azamukunda; akamukuyakuya, baba babyaye baba batabyaye, baba bakize cyangwa bakennye, yaba ari muzima cyangwa arwaye, ’ibindi, ibyo abenshi bavuga ko bitamara igihe kinini, kuburyo hari n’abavuga ko byari bikwiye kuvaho. Sinzi wowe uko bimeze mu rugo iwawe, niba ugikomeje gukunda umugore wawe nkuko mwabisezeranye, ariko niba atari byo, waba utabarwa mu bahabwa amanota yo   kwitwa abagabo beza, kuko ahatari urukundo haba hari urwango, umuntu akaruhisha kubera impamvu z’idini ngo batamutenga cyangwa bakamuheza, cyangwa se adakurwa ku murimo ruanaka akora, haba mu nzego z’ubuyobozi bwa Leta cyangwa ubw’idini.

Hari abavuga ko nta wagombye kuvuga urukundo hagati y’umugabo n’umugore, ngo kuko nta mpamvu yo yo kwibwira ko wikunda, ngo uba ubizi. Abo bahera aho Imana ubwayo yemeje ko umuntu asiga se na nyina akabana n’uwo bashakanye akaramata, kandi bombi bakaba babaye umubiri umwe. Ibyo ni byiza bibaye bityo ntabwo byaba ari ngombwa ko nandika igitabo nk’iki. Ariko kuko hari abagabo babirahira ntibabishyire mu bikorwa, niyo mpamvu numva kwandika mbibutsa ko bagomba gukomeza indahiro kandi bagakunda abagore babo ari ngombwa. Ukunda umugore we aramwubahisha, aho anyuze bakishimira uwo ariwe.

Abagore benshi bababazwa n’uko abagabo babo babasuzuguza, igihe babaca inyuma. Bahamya ko bibabaza cyane, ngo kuko baba berekana ko ahari ibyo abagore babo babuze, bityo aho anyuze aba afite ikimwaro cy’uko atekerezwa nabi, agasuzugurwa n’uwo umugabo we yamusuzuguje amuca inyuma, ababizi, ari nako bamutaramana bamunegura.

Ndifuza ko niba uri mu bajya bakoza umugore wawe isoni warekera aho, mukangira akanya ko kuganira, ukamusaba kukwihanganira kandi ugafata ingamba zo kutongera kumubabaza umusuzuguza.

Burya ibyadafite ntabyo afite nyine, byihanganire, kuko nawe birashoboka ko hari ibyo udafite, cyangwa udakora neza kandi yihanganira, ntagukoze isoni mu bandi.

Abatanga buhamya bwo kuba baragiye bajya mu bandi bagore, bemeza ko basanze nta gishya babonyeyo, ahubwo hari abemeza kandi benshi ko bahasanze ibibi byinshi. Hari uwanganirije ukuntu yajyaga asiga umufariso (matela) mwiza, akajya kurara ku ikarito mu ntozi n’inshishi mu kiguri k’imibu nta supaneti. Abandi bagiye bahakura indwara zandurira mu mibonano mpuzabitsina, n’ibindi bibi byinshi.

Umugabo mwiza rero akunda umugore we, kandi burya niwe uba wikunze ubwe, burya aba akunze abana be n’umuryango wose muri rusange.

Umwanditsi w’imigani avuga ko umugore w’umuntu ari nk’iriba rye ko akwiye kunywa amazi yaryo anezerewe; Imigani 5.18-19

Abagabo bamwe usanga biruka inyuma y’abana b’abakobwa ngo bafite utubere duhagaze, nyamara nta menye ko amabere y’uwo bashakanye ari meza bitangaje. Icya mbere nayo yahoze ahagaze yazize abana bayonse kandi abo bana ntaho bari kugurwa. Bikaba rero bikwiye gutekerezwa na buri mugabo akishimira amabere y’uwo bushakanye kuko ari meza.

3 Umugabo mwiza ntahindurwa n’ibihe uko bihinduka 

Umugabo mwiza kandi w’intwari ntahindurwa n’ibihe. Byaba ibihe bimeze neza cyangwa se bimeze nabi. Hari abagabo ngo bagiye bahindurwa imitima n’uko bavuye mu mibereho y’ubukene bakagira mafaranga barangiza bakabona ko abagore babo batakijyanye n’igihe, aho kubitaho cyangwa se ngo babafashe kuzamuka nabo bagere ku ntera babifuzaho, ahubwo bakajya mu bandi bagore ngo basirimutse.Icyakora abenshi bajya basubira ku isuka iyo abo basirimukazi bamaze kubamaraho imari nyirantabwa yaruhiye.

Hari abagiye babana n’abagore babashakanye, barahariranye kubana akamata, nyamara bamara kwiga amashuri aho kugirango bashimishe abagore babobo bihanganiye ibyo bihe bigaga; barya ubusa ; bambara nabi; barangiza bakabata iyo mu bukene bakabarutisha abandi ; abo amarari y’umubiri abereka ko baruta abo bita injiji z’abaturage.

Hari abandi bagabo bajyiye bahemukira abo bashakanye kubera  ubukene bubaye mu rugo, bagatana abagore babo inshingano zo kurera abo babyaranye, bakigira ahandi bashobora kubona ibyo kurya. Ubukene ntibwari bukwiye gutuma umugabo asiga uwo yasereniye kubana nawe akaramata, dore ko no mundahiro barahiriranye hari ahavuga ngo twaba dukize cyangwa dukennye. Si byiza ko umugabo atererana umugore we mu bihe ibyo ari byo byose, byaba ndetse n’iby’uburwayi.

Nasanze umunyarwanda yaravuze ngo inshuti nyayo iboneka mu byago. Ni ukuvuga ko ibihe uko bihukindutse, cyane cyane bibabye bibi, aribwo buryo bwiza bwo kugaragaza urukundo k’umugore mwashakanye, kuko umurutira izindi nshuti yabonera muri ibyo byago, kuko muri umubiri umwe.

4. Umugabo mwiza ntasharirira umugore we cyangwa abandi baba mu muryango  Abakolosayi 3.19

Niyo umuntu yaba atabishaka, iyo agize icyo akacanga (tuvuge nk’umuravumba cyangwa intagarasoryo) kikamusharirira, byanze bikunze akambya agahanga.

Uko niko umugabo usharirira umugore we mu buryo ubwo aribwo bwose, amubabaza. Icyo gihe ntasharirirwa mu kanwa cyangwa ku rurimi ahubwo ni mu mutima ari nabyo bituma naho akabya atari mu gahanga ahagaragara ahubwo agakambya imbere ahashaririwe. Gusharirira umugore ni bibi cyane kuko bimutera kugaragara nabi, no kuganduka bikamunanira. Niyo mpamvu Bibiliya ivuga ko umugabo akwiye gukunda umugore we (ntamusharirire) noneho umugore nawe akabona uko amugandukira.

Mu bagore nabajije ushyize mu ijanisha  95% bambwiye ko abagabo bajya bababaza niba bagira ubwenge, ibyo ngo bikaba biba cyane cyane iyo hari ibyo bari mo baganira. Igitangaje ni uko bamwe muri abo bagore ari abafite impabushobozi za za kaminuza, abagabo babo bashobora no kuba batararangije n’amashuri yisumbuye, cyangwa abo bagore bakaba bafite ibyo bayobora mu mirimo bakora, ariko abagabo babo bakababwira amagambo ameze atyo yo kubasharirira.

Umugabo usharirira umugore we ntaba amukunda nkuko bikwiriye, kuko muri uko kumusharirira ashobora kumutera ibibazo birimo no kuba ashobora kurwara indwara z’ihahamuka n’izindi zirimo n’umutima. Abagabo bamwe ntibumva neza kuba umutware w’urugo icyo bivuze, bakagirango ni ukuzajya bavuga amagambo asharira, arimo ibitutsi, n’ibindi.

Umugabo mwiza avugana ituza azirikana ko umugore ari nk’urwabya rudakomeye, rushobora kumenwa n’ibintu bitanagaragara ko byamena urwabya, nk’uko gusharira

5. Umugabo mwiza amara umubabaro umugore we   1 Samweli 25.12

Nkuko bigendekera abantu bose muri iyi isi, umugore nawe ashobora kugira ikimubabaza, kimuhagarika umutima, biturutse ku mirimo akora, ku buzima yanyuzemo no kubindi bintu bitandukanye, nko gutsindwa isomo niba yiga, nko kuba yahombye niba acuruza, nko kuba umuvandimwe we arwaye, cyangwa se undi wo mu muryango n’ibindi.

Iyo turebye umugabo witwa Dawidi, ukuntu yagiriye Betisheba akamufasha mu mubabaro yari afite kubera gupfusha umwana we, dusanga ari urugero rwiza abagabo bakwiye kwigana, tugafasha abagore bacu mu gihe bafite ibyabagoye.

Umugabo Elukana kandi nawe ni urugero rwiza cyane kuko, mu gihe umugore we yababazwaga na mukeba we, undi yarabimenyaga akaza akamwurura akamubwira amuhoza ko amurutira abahungu icumi. Nyamara mu gihe nabazaga abagore, abenshi bambwiye ko abagabo bashaka gufashwa mugihe bagize ibibazo, ariko ko batamenya gufasha abagore mu gihe bo bafite ibibazo.  Mu gihe nabazaga niba ari amajyambere cyangwa ko na kera byarahozeho, bambwiye ko byahozeho na kera ariko ko ubu bikabije, icyakora bambwiye ko umuco w’abanyarwanda wagiraga uko uyobora abagabo gufasha abagore mu gihe bababaye, ari nabyo byatumaga iyo umugore yagiraga uwo apfusha mu muryango we, umugabo we yategekwaga n’umuco kumwegera, noneho bikaza kumufasha kugira igihe cyo kwibagirwa ibyago yabayemo

.

Umugabo ufite umuco mwiza amenya ko umugore we ababaye, kandi akamufasha, niba ari ibimusaba kumutabara, akabikorana urukundo nk’uwitabara, niba ari ibimusaba kumwitangira akabigira abikunze nkuko Kristo yabikoreye Itorero;

6. Umugabo mwiza yishimira urukundo rw’umugore we            Imigani 5.19

Uko iminsi igenda ishira niko umugore agira impamvu zituma atakigaragaza gukunda no kuganduka nka kera atarabyara, kuko aba agomba kwita ku mwana cyangwa abana, kandi igihe cyo ntikiyongera, amasaha n’iminota byo biguma ari bya bindi,  mu gihe ibyo asabwe byo byiyongera umunsi k’uwundi.

Bityo rero ibyo yajyaga agaragazamo urukundo no kuganduka bitangira kugabanuka rwose, kugeza ubwo ndetse ashobora gucyurirwa ko atakirangiza neza ishingano ze.

Nyamara ariko umugabo wese yari akwiye kwishimira urukundo umugore amukunda kuko rushobora kuba rwariyongereye. Amwitaho atanga amategeko mu gikoni, agahindukira akita no kumwana babyaye ngo azabe umuhungu cyangwa umukobwa mwiza, ibyo rero abikora agirango uyu muhungu azaheshe ishema se, dore n’ubundi ko umwana w’intwari yitirirwa se.

Ibyo rero akorera abo bose, mu gihe yaba atabishyizemo ubwenge buke ngo byose biharirwe umukobwa cyangwa umuhungu uba mu rugo nk’umufasha imirimo, byagombye kugaragara nk’urukundo rushimisha umugabo cyane.

Ikindi umugabo agomba kwitondera ntikimubuze kwishimira urukundo rw’umugore we ni igihe umugore afite umusitari umukurura cyangwa ikipe y’umupira imukurura, avuga neza, mbese akunda.

Kuba ashimishwa n’umuntu runaka uririmba neza, wigisha neza, ukina filime neza, cyangwa se ukora ikiganiro cyiza kuri radiyo cyangwa televisiyo, bishobora rwose kumubamo akumva amukunda kandi akaba ashobora no kubivuga. Ibyo byose bishobora kuba ataranamubona ku maso, ari ukumwumva ijwi gusa. Ibyo rero si ikibazo cyangombye gutuma utekereza ko afite undi akunda, mu gihe nta ngorane zindi bimuteye.

Ikindi kuba akunda ikipe udakunda kandi ukageregeza kumukundisha iyo ukunda ukobona ntibimuzamo, ntibikwiye gutuma umutekereza nkutagukunda.

Muri umubiri umwe ariko nkuko n’ingingo z’umubiri zitishimira ibintu kimwe, ukwiye kubyihanganira kandi ntibibabuze kubaka urugo rurimo amahoro.

Tuvuze urugero ku mubiri, uririmi rushobora kwihanganira urusenda, ndetse rukabwira ibindi bice bisigaye by’umubiri ko ibiryo bibishye kuko bitarimo urusenda. Ariko urusenda mu jijo urazi nawe ko ari ikibazo gikomeye.

Urundi rugero ni isabune. Uzi ko isabune ikura ico ku mubiri, ariko ntikura ico mu jisho. Ibyo ni ngombwa ko ubitekereza ukamenya ko muri umubiri umwe ariko w’abantu babiri. Bibaye amahirwe yakunda ibyo ukunda akanga ibyo wanga.

Gukunda umusitari, ikipe runaka ntibimubuza kugukunda urukundo rukugenewe. Ikibazo ni uko mu kinyarwanda tugira ibisobanuro byinshi by’urukundo ariko tukagira inyito umwe urukundo.

Ubundi mu kigiriki dushobora kubona amagambo ane asobanuye urukundo. Ni ukuvuga urukundo rw’umugore n’umugabo rufite uko rwitwa, urukundo rw’abandi rukagira uko rwitwa, urukundo hagati y’abana n’ababyeyi nabo rufite ukundi rwitwa.

Ubwo rero twe dufite urukundo ruvugwa kuri bose, cyangwa kuri byose, reka twizere ko umugore afite ingano akunda abandi n’ibindi n’urwo agukunda.

7. Umugabo mwiza yirinda ubusambo

Umugabo mwiza yirinda ubusambo, ngo ace aho bokereza ihene, inkoko n’amafi, atahe atura umubi kandi abandi umubiri w’inda wafatanye n’umugongo, umugore yateretse amazi ku mbabura itagira amakara, cyangwa ku mashyiga, agirango abana basinzirane ikizere. Burya umugabo mwiza asangira byose n’umugore we, abana n’abandi baba mu muryango. Niba uri mu bataha bandika igisa n’umunani, uri umugabo utahabwa izina ko uri umugabo mwiza, niba kandi urya ibisafuriya n’ibiguruka byo mu kabari ugataha ubaraza ibyo usanze ku meza ngo nta nyama batetse ngo izo mvange bazikuvane imbere, ni ukuri ubabaza umwana wa nyokobukwe, kandi buriya ni uko atabikubwira, nkundira mbimuvugire umubereye umugome umugora mu rugo mwubakanye.

Ni byiza ko amafaranga ujyana muri izo nzira wayaha umugore agahaha maze mugahembuka mwese utamwicishije umuhumuro mubi w’ibyo winejejemo amanjiriwe mugisasiro kandi inzara imutema amara. Burya nubwo umubwira muri za ndimi z’amahanga, ntugirengo burya anezezwa na je t’aime kandi inzara imutema amara. Burya amarira aba atemba ajya mu nda, kuko burya iyo yabonye ko ibyo yarahiriwe byari ibyo ku munwa gusa, ahinduka umugabo agatangira gushakisha uko yakwirwanaho,no kurwana kuri cya cyibondo mwabyabyaranye. Nyamara sibyiza ko niba uri umugabo w’igisambo wabigumamo, ahubwo ukwiye guhindura imyumvire, ugasangira ibyo ubonye n’umuryango wose.

8. Umugabo mwiza ntaca inyuma uwo bashakanye

Nubwo ubusambanyi busa n’ubwabaye gikwira muri iyi minsi, umugabo mwiza yirinda guca inyuma umugore we, akabana nawe amahoro atamubangikanya n’abandi bagore cyangwa abandi bakobwa. 1 Korinto 7.2.  Umugabo mwiza ntajya mu bana b’abakobwa kubagira inshuti, kuryamana nabo.

Abagabo baca inyuma y’abo bashakanye nabo, baba babahemukiye cyane ariko nabo baba batiretse kuko aba acumuye ku mubiri we 1 Abanyakorinti 6.18 baba basa n’abisatuyemo, kuko umuntu ugiye kwa maraya, aba abaye umubiri umwe n’uwo, kandi yari asanzwe ari umubiri umwe n’umugore we.

Abagobo benshi ku isi yose, bagiye baca inyuma abagore babo; bagiye bagira ingorane nyinshi cyane, abacuruzi benshi basubiye ku isuka, barahombye kubera ingeso yo guca inyuma abagore babo, abandi bavuye mu buyobozi bari barimo cyane cyane abanyamadini, kubera guca inyuma y’abo bashakanye, ndetse no mu nzego z’imirimo isanzwe, benshi batakaza imyanya yabo myiza kubera guca inyuma y’abo bashakanye. Benshi bakutse amenyo, hari igihe higeze kwamamara imvugo ko abagore n’abakobwa bashuka abagabo b’abandi ni abakuzi b’ibyinyo.kugirango rero wowe bitabaho ubyirinde, ntuzapime kubwira undi mugore amagambo y’urukundo akwiye kubwirwa umugore wawe, nta wundi wagombye kubwira ko nta we umuruta;  ari igitego, ko umukunda birenze igipimo n’ibindi.

Guca inyuma y’umugore wawe ni bibi cyane bitera ingorane nyinshi, kandi ikibabaza kuri bamwe bitangira gahoro gahoro, kugeza igihe umutima ugenda, umuntu agasigara nta gutekereza akigira, ameze nk’inka umushumba ayobora aho ashaka.

Biteye agahinda ko umugabo wiyubakiye urugo rwe, ndetse ufite akazi keza, ushobora no kub afite imodoka ye cyangwa ze, ahinduka nk’inka iragiwe n’umugore utagira umutima, wananiye umugabo we.

Bene uwo nta kindi akurikirana k’umugabo abeshya ngo aramukunda, keretse ko aba amushakaho ibyo atunze, maze yamara kubimumaraho, amaze no kumuhambirira kabutindi mu maraso, agatangira kujya amutuka, amutaramana ko ntanicyo amaze, n’ibindi bibi birimo no kumugira umuta mutwe.

Abagabo benshi kubera guca inyuma y’abo bashakanye, bagiye bahura n’ingorane nyinshi zirimo no kudashobora imirimo yatumye bashaka abagore, bimwe bishobora kuba bituruka ku kwangirika k’ubwonko, maze amashusho y’abo bagizi banabi baba barabatwaye umutima n’ubwenge akitambika hagati y’abashakanye bityo umugabo agatakaza imbaraga, agasigara yimyoza gusa. Abandi kandi babiterwa n’ibyo baba barariye kuri kuri abo bagizi ba nabi.

Ni byiza ko umugabo abana n’umugore we akaramata, kandi ntamurutishe abandi bantu kugeza igihe cyo gutandukanywa n’urupfu cyangwa se Yesu atwaye Itorero.

9. Umugabo mwiza yita kuburere bw’abana be

Ni byiza ko umugabo yita ku burere bw’abana kandi akababera n’urugero rwiza, burya abana bubaha ba nyina koko, ariko banakeneye inyigisho za ba papa. Ni byiza rero ko umugabo mu rugo agira umwanya wo kuganira n’abana Imigani 4.1 Imigani 23.19.

Abagabo bamwe bagira ingeso yo guhonda abana ngo bagize amanota mabi ,kandi bataragize umwanya wo kubafasha mu masomo babaga batumvise neza ku ishuri.

Uburere buruta ubuvuke, kuba ukomeye, uri umuyobozi, cyangwa se uri umukungu, ntibisobanuye ko umwana wawe azaba umwana mwiza. Ahubwo akeneye ko umuba hafi ukamwigisha, ukamwerekera, kandi ukamuhana umwereka uko yakoze nabi. Ariko wari ukwiye ku mwereka ikibi yakoze ari uko wari wamubwiye icyiza cyo gukorwa, akaba atagikoze.

Akenshi kubera imirimo abagore batahiramo ntibabona umwanya uhagije wo gukurikirana abana ngo babafashe mu miberebana n’amasomo, babibutse ibyo baba bize, bunganira abarimu, bityo umugabo akwiye gutaha kare agafasha abana, ndetse niyo baba bafite umwarimu ubigishiriza mu rugo, iyo papa wabo ahari, baritonda bagakurikira, kandi ashobora kumwunganira.

10.  Umugabo mwiza agira umwete ku murimo  Umubwiriza 9.10

Burya ubunebwe ni bubi nkuko nabisobanuye mu gitabo cya mbere, ni isoko y’ibi byinshi. Abagabo b’abanebwe bakenesha ingo zabo, bigakururira abarugize mu ngeso mbi,umugabo mwiza abyukana ibakwe ryo kwita ku murimo Imigani 5.6-11, akagerageza uko ashoboye ngo ateze urugo rwe imbere. Aca hirya no hino ashaka ibyo gutunga urugo, uburyo bava mu bukode, uburyo bakwishyura amadeni, n’ibindi. Umugabo mwiza ntiyirwa akina igisoro cyangwa amakarita, ahubwo nta suzugura akazi ngo ntikamukwiriye, akora ako abonye ategereje ko abona akamubereye, apfa kubona icyo atungisha abana batagiye muri pubere z’abakire, cyangwa gutoragura amakara mu bikarayi b’imyanda.

Gukunda umurimo no kuwukorana umwete ni byiza ; hari uwigeze kuvuga ko hari idusimba (intozi) dukwiye kutwigisha, avuga ko inyamaswa zitari zikwiye kugira umubabo zirusha ibakwe ku byo gukorana umurava. Wa mugani se koko ibimonyo bikore uko bishoboye ngo bihunike ibizabitunga, umuntu muzima utabana n’ubumuga aryame, abyutswe ngo gututa ifiyeri, yifashe mu mifuka, kandi igifu cye n’icy’abo mu rugo bikeneye ibyo gusya?

Nibyiza ko umugabo agira umwete ku mirimo ye, kandi akabikora azirikana ko Imana yifuza ko buri wese agira umwete

Burya umugabo wese akwiye kwirinda ubunebwe, kuko umunebwe wese arifuza ntagire icyo ageraho, mu gihe umunyamwete we agera kucyo yifuza. Imigani 13.4

11. Umugabo mwiza ni uzi gucunga neza umutungo w’urugo

Umugabo mwiza ni uzi gucunga umutungo akamenya no kuwubyaza inyungu, umugabo mwiza yirinda gusesagura umutungo ahantu hatari ngombwa, kuko ntibyaba byumvika ko umuntu ahembwa agasubira mu rugo amaze umushahara, yitahiraga aho bacururiza inzoga. Si nzi niba izo munsi y’igitanda zikibaho, ariko niba zikinabaho cyangwa zitakinabaho, si byiza ko umugabo akoresha umutu ngo wagombye gufasha ab’umuryango wose mu buryo nk’ubwo mu mahoteli, mu tubari n’ahandi.

Kumenya gucunga umutungo kandi biri no mu buryo bwo gutanga. Byaba bibabaje igihe umugabo ataramana n’abandi mu kabari cyangwa ahandi habaye ibirori, yarangiza akagaba ikintu runaka atabanje kubaza abo mu rugo icyo babitekerezaho.

Ndibwirako aramutse ari inshuti y’umuryango yifuza kugabira ikintu runaka, nta numwe mu bagize umuryango utabimushyigikiramo.

Ikindi mu gucunga neza umutungo, hazamo kubitsa , kubikuza. Ntibyari bikwiye ko umugabo abikuza amafaranga atabanje kujya inama n’uwo bashakanye icyo baza kuyakoresha, kuko burya amafaranga arambitse ku kabati cyangwa kumeza, ashira vuba rimwe narimwe akanagenda mu bitateganijwe. Burya ni byiza ko no mukugura umwenda, cyangwa ikindi cyose, umugabo abitekereza neza akamenya ko umutwe umwe wifasha gusara ariko ko mu by’umutungo ari byiza kumva inama z’ab’umuryango.

12. Umugabo mwiza arababarira kandi akihangana        Ebanyefezi 4.32

Burya abantu babana babonanamo amakosa menshi atagira ingano, kandi ibyo biva ku mpamvu nyinshi cyane zitagombye no gutuma abantu barakaranya. Umunyarwanda we yarabimaze ngo nta zibana zidakubitana amahembe. Ibyo yashakaga kuvuga ko inka ishobora gukubita ihembe iyindi itari ibigambiriye ahubwo yashakaga kwikoma isazi.

Niyo mpamvu n’umugabo akwiye kwibwira ko icyo abona nk’ikosa gishobora kuba kibaye nta kubigambirira, ahubwo ko byaba bibaye nk’ibya yanka itashakaga gukubita indi ihembe.

Ni byiza ko umugabo ababarira abo mu rugo amakosa ababonamo,  dore ko hari n’igihe anaterwa n’imirimo myinshi baba bagize. Ntiwibuka se ibya wa mugore wari wateguye mu ruganiriro neza maze mu gihe ari mugikoni ashyashyana, aca hirya no hino ngo ategure ifunguro ryiza, inko igasimbikira mi idirishya ikagenda igasiribangisha ibitambaro yari yateguye amatotoro yayo?

Nonese koko yari kuba ari mu gikoni akanaragira inkoko ? Ni byiza kubabarira akirinda kurakazwa n’akantu ako ariko kose, kuko akenshi uburakari bubyara amagambo asharira, ibitutsi nandi mahane.

Kandi burya utekereje neza wasanga nawe ushobora kuba ufite amakosa menshi ukwiriye kubabarirwa, nibyiza rero kubabarira, ngo nawe ujye ubabarirwa kandi na Data wo mu ijuru ajye akubabarira.

Iyo ntekereje isengesho Yesu yigishije intumwa ze rivugwa n’abantu benshi cyane buri munsi ndetse inshuro nyinshi, nkuko riri mu butumwa bwiza bwa Matayo 6.8-13, nterwa ubwoba n’amagambo ari mo avuga ku by’imbabazi ahavuga ko natwe tubabarira abaducumuraho. Mbega wowe usoma iki gitabo koko iyo ugeze kuri uriya murongo wa 12 uwuvuga nta bwoba ? Ntibyoroshye !

Hari umubyeyi wigishaga abana rya sengesho rya Data wa wa twese (Dawe uri mu ijuru) , akubwira kuvuga ngo « utubabarire ibyaha byacu, kandi natwe ujye udushoboza kubabarira abandi ibyaha badukorera ».

Niba rero ushaka kuba umupapa mwiza babarira abana n’abandi bo murugo amakosa yabo, ariko cyane cyane babarira umugore wawe, amakosa yose, akora, kandi usuzume uruhare rwawe muri yo.

13. Umugabo mwiza arangwa no kubana neza n’abandi

Iyo usomye Bibiliya usangamo umugabo utari uzi kubana neza n’abandi witwa Nabali, igihe kimwe yari agiye kugira ingorane iyo umugore we ataza kwitambika, agatakambira umuryango we.

Umugabo mwiza amenya kubana n’abavandimwe be, abaturanyi be, abo bakorana,  n’abandi muri rusange. Burya umugabo uhora apfa n’abaturanyi utuntu twa mafuti, arengera abantu, asakuza ngo bamunera amazi mu nzira n’ibindi si umugabo mwiza.

Kera abacanaga ku nda, bakanywana na banywanyi babo, akenshi babikoraga ku nyungu z’umuryango wase, ndetse yewe n’inshuti zabo. Nubwo rero abantu batagica kunda, ariko umuco wo kubana neza wo ntukwiye kugira inkomyi, dore ko ubu usanga n’abantu barahanye abageni.

Nyamara birababaje kubona hari n’abagombye kubana amahoro kuko bahuriye ku marasho atari ayo kunda y’umuntu wavutse nkatwe, ahubwo ari ayaturutse mu mutima w’umuremyi Yesu Kristo.

Niba usoma iki gitabo ukaba uhora mu manza, mu makimbirane n’abaturanyi, aho kubasura ngo mwungurane inama uko mwateza aho mutuye imbere ahubwo ugahora, mu manza.

Ukwiye guhindura, ugatangira ubuzima bwo kubana neza n’abandi. Burya abandi bashobora kuba ataribo babi kuri wowe ahubwo ariwowe ubabera mubi. Kandi niba ari bibi (kuko nabyo byashoboka), wowe ku rwawe ruhande gerageza ubane nabo amahoro.

14 Umugabo mwiza ntarangwa no kuriganya umugore we         Malaki 2.14 Imigani 5.18

Bavuga uburiganya igihe umuntu yise icyintu icye kandi ataricye, cyangwa akoresheje ubucakura agatwara ikintu cy’undi muntu.

Umugabo rero ashobora kuriganya umugore we akoresheje uburyo tumaze kuvuga haruguru, akamutwara ibyari kubafasha bose, akabyikubira wenyine. Imana ibabazwa n’uburiganya uko bwaba bumeze kose, umugorabo ashobora gukorera umugore we.

Ntiriwe mbivugaho byinshi, umugabo ntiyagombye kuba umuriganya, kuko niyo abiriganya abandi, bimutesha agaciro, bigatesha agaciro uwo bashakanye, abo yabyaye, abo basangiye idini, cyangwa se abo bafite ibindi bahuriyeho.

15. Umugabo mwiza ntaba Bizengarame

Bavuga ko umuntu ari Bizengarame iyo ntacyo yitaho, adashobora kubyuka ikibazo kirataza, mbese amera nka wa wundi babwiye ngo inzu irahiye yarangiza akavuga ngo nibamusasire yiryamire.

Umugabo mwiza nta fata ibintu nk’ibitamureba ngo yidamararire aho guhaguhuguruka ngo ahangane n’ikibazo cyugarije urugo. Niba habaye ikibazo cy’inzara ngo agiherereze k’umugore, ngo nabe ariwe wirirwa asabiririza abo babyaranye, aho kujya gushakisha nk’umugabo, abe abonye akanya ko kwiryamira (ko kugarama). Umugabo mwiza ni umenya kwurwana k’urugo, agaca hepfo yabura igisubizo cy’ikibazo agaca ruguru, byakwanga agaca hirya, yahaburira agaca ibumoso, kugeza abonye igisubizo.

16. Umugabo mwiza ntaba Sendabizi.

Nkuko twabivuze k’umugore, dore ko n’ubundi batajya bavuga ngo Sendabizi ahubwo yaba umugabo yaba umugore bose babita nyirandabizi, ariko bisobanuye kimwe ko umuntu yiyemera nk’uzi ibintu byose, ko nta mpamvu yo kumubwira ku cyintu na kimwe nta mpamvu yo kumuhugura, yo kumuganiriza ku kintu runaka.

Abenshi banga kugirwa inama, bishingikirije ku mugani utaberanye n’igihe ngo amafuti y’umugabo nibwo buryo bwe, nyamara ariko ibyo bijya bigaragara ko hari igihe bitagira umusaruro mwiza.

Nibyo hari igihe bishoboka ko umugabo akora uko abitekereza, akabona arahiriwe, bigenze neza, ariko burya iyo umugore abona ko ikintu gikozwe byaba bibangamiye ubusugire bw’urugo, hakubitiraho ko hari n’inshuti zisanga ibyo umugore avuga aribyo byiza, umugabo yagombye kongera gushishoza no gushyira mu gaciro, maze akemera kuva ku izima ntigiyigire Sendabizi.

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Amafuti y’umugabo si bwo buryo bukwiye, igikwiye ni ugushyikirana no gushyira mu gaciro, kumva no kumvikana bijyanye no gukuunda urukundo rukomeza indahiro.

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